Unless you’re a total prude Jude, you probably harbour some risque reverie that you hope to make a romantic reality – what’s that you say? A one-night liaison with a strapping lion-tamer? Be still, lustful loins! In celebration of this Hallmark holiday and in aid of vixenly Valentines everywhere, behold these racey rooms that perfectly set the scene for your wildest dreams. Do try not to blush, Betty…
L’Hotel, Paris
Scenario: Moulin Rouge romp (or true Wilde ride)
Splendidly showy, this Left Bank boheme boudoir is perfect for those after an evening of can-can courtesan hijinx. Don your fishnets n’ feathers and high-kick over to one of the Chic rooms (pictured above) where you can skirt up on a tented bed swathed in navy and mauve satin. Or, if you’re after somewhere even more – ahem – novel, you and your Lord Alfred can get Wilde in the Oscar Suite, opulently decorated in the style of the author who died here in 1900.
L’Hotel, 13 rue des Beaux Arts, 6th, Paris. +33 1 44 41 99 00, l-hotel.com
Lake Manyara Tree Lodge, Tanzania
Scenario: Me Tarzan, You Jane
Got that frisky jungle fever? Swing over to these leafy, lake-sided tree houses. Each of these stilted suites are built from raw bows and branches, giving them a delectably natural aesthetic, but you’ll also find plenty of refined features including free-standing soak tubs with panoramic outlooks and cushy mosquito-netted sleepers that’ll have you aah-aah-aahing!
Lake Manyara Tree Lodge, Mtoni Rd, Lake Manyara National Park, Tanzania. +27 11 809 4300, andbeyond.com
Aman Canal Grande, Venice
Scenario: ‘Wherefore art thou, Romeo?’
Star-crossed lovers yearning to share a single secret night should steal from Verona to Venice and make for the impossibly lavish Aman Canal Grande. With a C.16th fireplace, silk wall coverings and a carved ceiling, the Sansovino Stanza is the ideal setting for any storied romance. It even overlooks the hotel’s private garden terrace so you can re-enact your own balcony scene. ‘But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?’
Aman Canal Grande, Palazzo Papadopoli, Calle Tiepolo 1364, San Polo, Venice. +39 041 270 7333, aman.com
Amberley Castle Hotel, West Sussex
Scenario: Fairytale-esque damsel in distress awaiting her dashing knight
After your own mischievous medieval melee? Well, Rapunzel, there is nowhere better to let down your locks than this stone fortress complete with moat. Prince charmings can tend to their sleeping beauties in one of the perfectly period Premier Deluxe rooms, which come with kingly four-poster beds, ceiling beams and stained glass windows.
Amberley Castle Hotel, Amberley, Arundel, West Sussex, England. +44 179 883 1992, amberleycastle.co.uk
Samode Haveli, Jaipur
Scenario: Kama Sutra sessions
Those Mughal maharajas certainly favoured some pretzel-like positions, and bendy Wendys seeking some of the same could do no better that this C.19th palatial pad with two sumptuous Sheesh Mahal Suites rocking mirror mosaics, ornate frescoes and rather relaxing in-room spas.
Samode Haveli, Samode Village, Tehsil Chomu, Jaipur, India. +91 1423 240 014, samode.com
Residenza Napoleone III, Rome
Scenario: Don’t wash, Josephine
Naughty Napoleon the First was quite fond of writing his missus a lusty letter or two, so we can only assume the pair would have been all too happy to indulge in some royal rompy pompy in this regal apartment privé. You and yours can get courtly in the grand canopied bed, or there’s a marble-ous bathroom if you want to keep it a little cleaner than the Emperor himself would have. Rub-a-dubba-hubba.
Residenza Napoleone III, Via della Fontanella Borghese, 56 Spagna, Rome. +39 347 733 7098, residenzanapoleone.com
Schlosshotel im Grunewald, Berlin
Scenario: Venus in Furs-esque mistress moment
Sacher-masoch may have been Austrian himself, but the feisty crop-carrying mistress of his famed erotic novella certainly wouldn’t look out of place in the imposing surroundings of Berlin’s Schlosshotel im Grunewald. We rather think Wanda would have stayed in one of the dark and debaucherous Luxury Suites.
Schlosshotel im Grunewald, Brahmsstr. 10, Berlin. +49 30 895 840, schlosshotelberlin.com
Bambu Indah, Bali
Scenario: Salty seaman nets a minxy mermaid
Some might find your fantasy a little fishy, but we say whatever floats your boat. Set sail for Bali and some maritime fun times in the glass-bottomed Udang House of Bambu Indah, a rustic-chic suite modelled after traditional Indonesian fishing houses. Now, the bait…
Bambu Indah, Jl. Banjar Baung, Desa Sayan, Ubud, Bali. +62 361 974 357, bambuindah.com
